Being “Husband Lonely”

Something that a friend said to me the other day has been really on my mind.  Maybe it’s because she said it so casually, like it wasn’t that big of a deal.  We were commenting about how to work while having small children and she said:  “My hubby works 1st shift and I work 3rd so we don’t need daycare or a babysitter! Granted it’s hard but it works for the best so the kids are always with us!” In my little Army bubble I constantly catch myself feeling lonely or frustrated at the fact that my husband is so busy all the time. But outside of the military, families have this same struggle.  Health care workers, police, fire department, jobs that travel, opposite shifts, husbands who work multiple jobs and so on…. As a wife in these situations, we miss our husbands! I mean, that’s great though, right!? It would probably be a bigger problem if we didn’t miss them, right!?

Well anyways, Eric is about to start Trauma II in his SOCM course.  I’ve heard that families just go back home during this because their husbands are pretty much non existent.  I thought… damn… here we go again.  More of this being “husband lonely.”  No family trips, no family dinners, daddy’s never there, no relief for me, and the missing my better half starts all over again.  BUT then Tara said that short little sentence and it was like BAM. Perspective.  Behind their missing each other was so much pride and gratitude for the good stuff in that situation.  There’s always something good.  Husbands would never choose to be away so much if it wasn’t for a super good reason!  Eric is going to save LOTS of lives in the future.  He’s bettering himself to better the world.  He is amazing, really. And here I am, lucky enough to be home with my kids and the house and having the privilege to support a super Soldier like that.  And Tara trades hubby time so they don’t have to deal with the stress of daycare and babysitters.  Others trade married time for financial freedom, healthcare for their family, making all the ends meet.

Being “husband lonely” then, is pretty much something that’s awesome! Even brag-worthy!! It’s kind of a sign that you and your family are a contributing, selfless, brave unit that doesn’t give up…. and no matter what, you try your hearts out to not only make it work, but to make it freaking awesome.  I miss my husband a lot when he’s gone and sometimes get really stressed taking care of our life by myself. But the pride I feel when I think about what he’s doing? It makes it all worth it.  So here’s what I’m going to do when times get rough up ahead:  When I start screaming out “Where the f*ck is Eric!?” I’ll actually answer that question.  Oh he’s currently learning how to treat a blast injury and prevent further complications.  Yeeeaaa that’s probably more important than what I currently need him for.  Go Eric.  Go me.  Get it together 🙂  So when you haven’t seen YOUR husband in what feels like days (or actually it has been days) remind yourself of where he is and why.  What is he doing that is preventing him from being with you at this moment.  Would you rather him be there? or would you rather him give that up and be with you? I think your answer to that will be enough to snap you back to reality.

Any who, thank you Tara for being your awesome self and I hope you don’t mind me blogging about you 🙂 If your badass self could inspire me, I figured you might help some others as well!

Have a happy day friends!

– Angela

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3 thoughts on “Being “Husband Lonely”

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