I am pathologically shy. It’s why I drank so much in college, why moving every couple years is so terrifying, why making new friends takes a year or more, why I never take chances, never wear lipstick, never even try a new fashion trend. Do you get me? How about this, I’m also pathologically insecure. It’s why I drank so much in college (lol), never wear low cut shirts, HATE bikini bottoms, never put myself out there. Do you get any of that? I’m sincerely sorry if you do get any of that. Why? Because you are wasting time and life just like me. When 2015 started I made a secret and personal resolution to push past my shyness and insecurity and Be. Better. So recently, when a situation presents itself and the immediate reaction is hell no, I push ahead and say yes.
For example, taking two young boys (eight months and four) to Chuck E Cheese on a Saturday afternoon alone. For goodness sakes, if that can be done than anything can be overcome!!! Seriously though, I KNOW you get how hard that was!
Here’s another little something to fight off that insecurity. HAIR! Simply doing your HAIR 🙂 Have you seen other moms on Facebook looking so put together and looking happy and beautiful with their hair DOWN and CURLED? And you thought so many jealous thoughts and your own insecurities boiled damn near overflow status? Well, maybe that’s just me and my pathologies…. But I was really jealous of this! So think, what is so different between her and me. We both have young kids, same busy husbands, same home obligations. The difference? She has the lady balls to give herself the appreciation she deserves. Take the extra minutes and curl the hair! Such a little thing and it resonates everywhere!! All the happiness, the confidence, the self-worth. So I started doing it for myself. It really only takes a few minutes. Even if I don’t get my shower until one in the afternoon, I still do my hair. Even if nobody will see me except my kids and possibly my husband if he makes it home before bedtime, I do it. Even if a baby is crawling up my leg and a five-year old is saying “I just want you to spend time with me!” I curl the hair and I feel accomplished… and awesome! And then quality children time resumes.
Another huge and terrifying step for an insecure and ridiculously shy person? Taking something that is loved and turning it into a business. There’s tons of distribution business out there today, but of course my insecurity said that would never work for me! Nobody cares what I like, nobody will listen to me, I’ll feel even more insecure than I do now. But you know what? I threw that Facebook party anyways and EVERYONE came. EVERYONE was interested. My business doubled in size last month and I grossed over $1000.
One last thing to share here to work on. Taking the kids places and actually TALKING to the other moms. Even attempting make friends out of them. GOOD friends. I run around the park chasing everyone’s kids pretending to be a dragon and I DO NOT CARE what anyone thinks of me (obviously a big deep part of me DOES care, but that part has to go away now). But you know what they actually do think? That I’m awesome. And they tell me so. They don’t think that I’m super crazy or weird or nuts. The me of last year would’ve been sitting quietly on a bench away from everyone else for fear of them judging me, not liking me… leaving me out.
So what’s coming up next on this journey? Attending my first ladies night at my church, by myself with no kids to buffer my awkwardness. Super nervous about that one. I will also be starting to wear lipstick, rocking a sapphire colored mascara, and continue writing this adventure of a blog! wowza.
It’s March first and I’ve already accomplished so much by changing a few things and saying EFF YOU to those stupid feelings that have been holding me back. Shyness and Insecurity are a WASTE of precious time. You deserve so much and are worth so much…. It’s kind of silly when the only person holding you back is yourself don’t you think? So what do YOU want to do? What are your goals? Why aren’t you doing that? Start. Now. Just do it. The worst that can happen is that you’ll be right where you are right now.